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Posted by on Oct 21, 2013

Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n Roll in Croatia


Just finished a fabulous seven-day island hopping cruise through the wonderful Islands of Croatia and found the e-mailbox stuffed. As always these are actual letters from you, our loyal readers (down to about 10 based on the latest Google analytics. Thanks to the 10 of you for staying with us to the bitter end). The answers, however, are made up.

Dave, it seems as though you stopped referring to Jill as a robot since she said she told you not to. You’re a big wuss. Can you possibly defend yourself?
Sam – U of M
Those are strong words coming from my favorite godson, Sam, but I’ll answer your inquiry nonetheless. Yes, Jill is in all likelihood a robot and two recent things stand out. Our cabin during our Croatia cruise was directly below the kitchen, separated only by some wood floors. So typically when we would go to sleep they would still be cleaning up in the kitchen. I’m not sure exactly what they were doing up there, but picture someone simultaneously jumping up and down on the floor above you while also throwing a stool on the ground. That’s what it sounded like. Two minutes after she would lay down, Jill would be asleep. I’ve never met a “human” who could tune things out the way this “woman” can. It’s remarkable.

Our cabin is to the right of Jill, the kitchen directly above.

Our cabin is to the right of Jill, the kitchen directly above (with the open door).

Second: I’m not that up on the capabilities of Google’s new high-tech glasses, but I imagine that one of the things it can do is provide you with a map and guide you with directions to wherever you’re going just by looking through the glasses. Jill appears to have a device that does something similar implanted in her. Whenever we get to a new location she quickly finds a map of the city, appears to scan it for a few minutes, then gets us to wherever we need to go. Sometimes she’ll pull out her phone and look at Google Maps, but I think that’s just for show. After nine months of travel I can safely say that Jill is a robot. And no, I am not afraid of her.

What would you say is the biggest difference between you and Jill?
Vanessa – Novato
There are too many to count Vanessa. But I think the one difference that encompasses most of them is that Jill prefers to do things by the book, while I tend to run amok. Jill absolutely loved that we had to follow all kinds of rules during our cruise (specific times to eat, staying in a line with the rest of the group while biking/hiking and going along with any other instructions we were given), while I prefer to lose the rest of the group, throw my clothes on the floor rather than in a dresser and generally not pay attention to any instruction. Trust me, I wish I was more like her in this respect because she brings these same characteristics to her work and is incredibly efficient and singularly focused, while I try to do 23 things at once and do most of them half-assed. But let me also say this arrangement works for us.

Can you just get your toilet reference out of the way already. We know it’s coming.
Jim – Napa
Hello Jim!  Yes, I have been intrigued by the gel-like discs Europeans stick in the toilet to reduce odors. But while we’re on the subject, did I ever mention that Belgium has what can best be described as outside urinals to aid beer drinkers when nature calls? Here’s me taking care of business in one. Yes, I really was.

Taking care of business in Ghent, Belgium.

Taking care of business in Ghent, Belgium.

Are there any items from the U.S. that can be found everywhere in the world?
Hannah – Chicago
Hey Hannah! The one thing that sticks out is Wrigley’s gum (Wrigley’s, Orbit, etc.). I’ve seen displays at grocery store checkout lanes stocked full of 20 different gums from Wrigley, including Orbit for kids. I can’t say for sure the gum is made in the U.S. and shipped here, but it’s everywhere.

All the Wrigley gum on display.

All the Wrigley gum on display.

How’s that Hungarian/Croatian wine treating you?
Kristina – Walnut Creek
Virtually every country we have visited makes decent wine (the one exception was Thailand, I can still remember how awful the bottle of Shiraz I bought tasted). In many countries, like Hungary and Croatia, the whites are more enjoyable than the reds, but we haven’t found anything we’ve needed to spit out   How can you make cheap red wine more palatable? In Croatia the answer is Fanta Orange soda. The combination is called mish mash! Jill thinks with a little ice it tastes like Sangria.  It even has its own Facebook page. I’m bringing this back to the States. Two Buck Chuck and Orange Crush – I’m calling it the Chuckie Cheese. Yum.

Our new friend Angelika, showing off her mish mash!

Our Austrian friend Angelika, showing off her mish mash!

Are they talking about the new Pearl Jam album in Croatia?
Brad and Doug – San Francisco/Oakhurst
Wow, the same e-mail from two different people! Yes, yes they are.

The headline says Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n Roll in Croatia, yet other than some lame Pearl Jam reference I don’t see any of those things mentioned in these letters. What gives?
Dan Geris – Everywhere, Yet Nowhere
What’s up Dan? You’re looking good these days. Sorry for the misleading headline, but as noted above, readership is down so we needed something to draw more people in. Thanks for reading.

1 Comment

  1. I have truble reeding past a third grade level butt I am happy to help in any way I can. Is Crowasia a place with black burds in China?

    Luv ya bud!

    BTW, Robot’s are purdy sexy if you ask me, espeshuly the made from the Jetson’s Kartune. That sed, I think Jill is more of a force of nature then a Robot.